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Body Image (Archive): June 2003
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
posted by TheBroadroom.Net at
11:28 AM (Pacific)
It's odd...my own body image changed 180 degrees after I had my kids.
In some ways my body actually got better, objectively speaking. I suddenly acquired a butt, for one thing...before that I was too thin. Not thin in the super chic sense; just too thin, in the undernourished sense, and I never liked that.
To be fair I'm on the Pill now and that changes your figure anyway, it definitely makes you curvier, which to me is a positive thing.
But it's more than those two disparate changes. And it's more than running after, and picking up after, the kids, which keeps you reasonably fit. It's more that I ceased viewing my body as an object, and began to see it more as a machine.
An object in this sense is something that may or may not have a purpose. It can be beautiful in its own right, it can also be ugly. But a machine has innate beauty of purpose. The more efficient and functional the machine, the more beautiful it becomes.
I like machines anyway; I have always preferred the functional, the necessary, over the purely decorative. I seldom collect objects for their own sake. To me something has to have a purpose. Which is probably why I like the new me.
I suppose it started when I was pregnant. I never understood why some people think pregnancy is ugly. To me it was fantastic. OK, I threw up as much as anyone else, I got tired, I had to sleep on my side, etc. I never bought real maternity clothes, just found some super size loose dresses to wear. I went through health problems during both pregnancies but the whole time, I loved my body. I just did. I never worried about getting fat.
Afterwards it took me about six months to lose the pregnancy weight. I took it all off both times. It was the Pill that made me put on "permanent" weight but again, it's weight in good places.
Before the kids, I can say I had a "plastic" view of what women's bodies should look like (I didn't agree with it, just accepted that most people felt that way). i.e., I thought breasts had to look a certain rather plastic way and then there was that liposuction, nip-and-tuck mentality. I even considered getting implants. It was nuts. I don't think I would have gone through with it, it's expensive and I disliked the thought of having to bottle-feed. But the mentality was there; that there was always something wrong with my body, that perhaps plastic surgery could "correct."
Now as I say it's odd but I never think that way. A body is what it is. It is functional; whether or not you ever have kids, the design is there.
--Josephine
Monday, June 23, 2003
posted by TheBroadroom.Net at
4:56 PM (Pacific)
When I was around 13 years old, a ballet teacher told me I had a beer belly. I was already very self-conscious about my stomach fat. I grew to loathe it. My self-esteem was shot.
Nowadays, even though I workout a lot and eat well, the stomach fat clings on. It just happens to be where my body likes to store fat. I'm trying to accept it. After all, the rest of me looks just fine. At the same time, I've noticed that the clothes I buy do a darn good job of hiding the dreaded stomach fat. That's good, right? I mean, everyone should wear flattering clothes, right? Right. But what about bathing suits? And workout clothes? You can use colour to make you look slimmer from the front but not much will change that little bulge you can see from the side. Bikinis rather scare me... When I wear a bathing suit or workout clothes, I walk around with my arms over my stomach to hide the fat. I'll do that sitting down too. I'm just so uncomfortable with that stomach of mine.
Yesterday, I went shopping with my boyfrfiend. While he was trying on some clothes, I looked at the other customers. A lady walked in with her husband. She was what I would call very curvy. She had way more stomach fat than I did. Not to mention in the butt, hips, thighs, arms, bust... I saw her try on a dress. It was a spaghetti strapped, clingy but not tight long dress. It clung to all her curves. And she looked great. She looked like she liked her body just the way it was. That inspired me. She didn't let magazines, ads, movies, and stupid ballet teachers get her down. She was gorgeous as she was and she knew it.
I went on to buy a clingy dress myself. And a bathing suit that I actually thought I looked great in (which is a miracle in itself given the lighting in those stores). In fact, I got myself a bikini and when I go to the water park tomorrow, I promise not to hide my tummy with my arms...
Raphaelle
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